Thanksgiving and my 24th

Happy Thanksgiving!

It has been wonderful hearing about everyone's Thanksgivings and seeing photos of all the gatherings. Thanksgiving is probably my favorite holiday, mostly because it involves two of my favorite things: food and people!

This Thanksgiving happened to coincide with my birthday, so Asher's family celebrated with me and made me the center of attention for a little bit before the meal. (Being the center of attention makes me SO uncomfortable, but they are incredible people and didn't make me feel more awkward than I usually do on my birthday.)

Asher conspired with several of my friends as well as Amy, his mom, to give me the best birthday present(s) ever! Frida Kahlo is my favorite artist, and he had everybody pitch in to get me this:

It's an oil-paint recreation of Las Dos Fridas, my favorite Frida piece.

In addition, he had each person or couple who contributed to the gift create their own, "Frida-inspired" artwork:

They are all different, beautiful, and so perfect for each of the artists :) As you can see, a couple of the pieces are still in the process of creation. I'll post updated photos when it is complete!

He rounded out the Frida theme with a book of Frida's illustrated diary, complete with translations and commentary. This is me opening the book, already overwhelmed by the amazingness of all these gifts.


After the presents, we had a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with the Moody and Martinez families, complete with... OLIVE FINGERS! (In honor of my Mama... to make sure it still felt like my childhood Thanksgivings.)


We had an amazing day, and it was wonderful to see Amy's sister, Margaret, and her family. They are always a house full of fun. Margaret's cancer is in remission (hooray!) and her hair is beginning to grow back. This was my second Thanksgiving with all of them and I'm so thankful to be a part of this family.


The next day, we went out for some San Francisco adventures (carefully avoiding anywhere people go to buy stuff, yikes!).

First, we had breakfast at Tartine Bakery & Cafe, my favorite bakery in San Francisco, right by Dolores Park. Here's the crew:

It was so good to see Joe! We've hardly seen each other since he moved back to the city. We need to work on that... Also wonderful to have our friend Sam and Kevin (Asher's brother) with us.

Asher and me at Dolores Park:


After breakfast, we attempted a visit to the California Academy of Sciences. We took one look at the lines, however, and decided to spend the day wandering around San Francisco instead. We met up with Sam's friend, Allyson, and went for an adventure. We took photos on top of Twin Peaks, where we may or may not have contributed to the extinction of a rare butterfly species. Seriously, we didn't see the signs. We are WAY sorry. Won't happen again. This is us shaming Sam because she missed the sign (not sure how she landed the blame for this one):


All in all, it was a wonderful couple of days. Thank you to everyone who helped make my birthday wonderful by sending cards and facebook messages and emails. I am so thankful for my friends and family.

I'm incredibly thankful for this guy:


Love to you all,
Elaine

bumps in the road

i'm feeling a little run down lately. i'm doing well at work, at school, and at other work, but i'm tired. i'm tired because, well, i have work, school, and other work. see how that is too many things? i know, mama, i know. i am predictable with the over-committing. :)

for once i have managed to avoid completely overwhelming myself. i'm handling everything and it's fine but i could definitely use a few more hours in my day. hours to get stuff done or study or sit and look at my future husband and just appreciate life.

other days, like yesterday, i want the day to end at 6pm. 6pm so i can just go home and go to bed as soon as it is dark outside. asher was having a tough day too, so we were happy to go home to santa cruz and spend a few more hours working and studying until we collapsed. we stopped at our favorite indian restaurant to pick up some food and then headed home. we were stopped at a red light when asher looked in the rear-view mirror and made a noise like, "aahhhhh...."

as in, "aahhhh... that person is NOT stopping". and then, BOOM! we got rear-ended. it was one of those confusing moments where i wasn't quite sure what had happened but i knew it was something i was not excited about.

oh wait, did i mention the truck broke down last month, so we have been driving the little tiny car?

oh wait, did i also mention that the little tiny car needed work done so we left it in asher's mom's garage and borrowed *her* little tiny car? the cute, fancy one?

yeah. we got rear-ended in asher's mom's car. :(

the woman who hit us was really nice and apologetic and had just finished working a 12 hour shift. as a doctor. at a women's health clinic in downtown santa cruz. naturally, she was adorable. we were very nice to each other and exchanged information and went on with our lives. everyone was ok except the cars but that's why we all have insurance, right?


i can't help but feel like it was a glimpse into some alternate future of myself. for so much of my life i pictured my future as her life. i wanted so much to be a doctor in a women's health clinic in a place like santa cruz. i wanted to work long days until i was exhausted because i thought it was the only way i would find peace and be fulfilled. and i think it's just beginning to dawn on me that my future might be different. i'm not sure what it will be, but it isn't narrowed down to just that option. i have so many different things i can do, so many different ways i can be myself without basing who i am on a job title.

who knows, i may still end up as an exhausted doctor in a women's health clinic. i would be honored. but at least i'll have gotten there by exploring who i am and figuring out what i really want in this world.

until then, life continues to be an adventure.

music and writing

hm... writing is difficult. i seem to have forgotten how to do it. i can write you a lovely scholarly paper in APA format. that i can do. i'm even taking an incredibly tedious course to improve my ability to do just that. i know *everything* about levels of headings. just ask. (or don't). and i can cite references with the best of 'em.

writing about myself, however, is much more difficult. i'm not sure where that place is. that place where i'm not treating this blog like a therapist, or a journal, or a friend, but rather a combination of all of those things, and none of those things. a place where i write when i'm confused, or intrigued, or excited, and not just when i'm depressed.

well, it's a work in progress.

i think music will help. i had forgotten about music, for a while. it's around me. it plays in cars and supermarkets and the occasional awkward elevator. the kids at work play pop culture mash-ups at ear splitting volumes (i never thought i'd feel so OLD at 23). i stopped listening to *my* music, though. i spend most of my time on the bus, at work, or in classes. i no longer drive around singing at the top of my lungs. i left my ipod at home for months.

then pandora happened. it is waking me up again. i forget how much music connects me with my own emotions. sounds and lyrics push my emotions forward and make me deal with them. sometimes i feel a little manipulated by music, but mostly i think it's healthy. i spend too much time pushing down my emotions, even these days when i'm so much healthier and happier than i've ever been.

i love the concept of pandora. i've never been good at picking my own music. i just know there are certain sounds that speak to me. pandora helps me find more of those sounds. it's music fused with an almost scientific organization system. i love it. it intrigues me and introduces me to new music and lets me guide it in the direction i'm feeling.

so... that's the plan. listen to music. write. be a more balanced person.

wish me luck :)

on (not) blogging

in case you haven't noticed, i have pretty much disappeared from the blogosphere.

life has been beautiful lately, but also difficult. i'm incredibly busy and both my jobs require a lot of online time, so i tend to neglect my personal presence on the web.

i have gotten so much better about taking time out for self-care: for my relationships, for sleep, for me. it shortens the time i have for the rest of my life, but it makes me a healthier, happier person.

that said, i really miss writing. i'm not in therapy right now and i don't think i spend enough time reflecting. i'm feeling a little disconnected from myself, and from all of you (friends and family).

so... yeah. i'm going to try to write more often. i'm not sure if anyone will read it, but i need to reconnect to myself this way, and i like looking back and having a record of my experiences.

talk to you soon, i hope.

elaine